


Don't You Know This Ain't Goodbye?

by SilverLynxx



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - The Greatest Showman, Character Death, M/M, Songfic, Tragedy, barlyle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 10:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13702887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverLynxx/pseuds/SilverLynxx
Summary: Don't cry,Don't you know this ain't goodbye?I'll see you on the other side...





	Don't You Know This Ain't Goodbye?

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so this was written purely to try and make the most heart rendering fic I was capable of, because it was honestly the only way to do justice to this amazing, heartbreaking rewrite of 'The Otherside' by [Picnokiness](https://picnokinesis.tumblr.com/). I highly recommend listening to it before reading! (Or listening to it on loop, cause it's agonising in a good way)
> 
> [LISTEN TO THE SONG HERE](https://picnokinesis.tumblr.com/post/170941041892/so-i-wondered-if-you-could-make-the-other-side)
> 
>  
> 
> [Read On Tumblr](http://silverlynxx.tumblr.com/post/170941894625/dont-you-know-this-aint-goodbye)  
> 

All around him is blistering heat and the soulless scream of the building succumbing to the flames. But just beyond is their escape; a darkness on the other side of the orange jaws that promised safety. Propelling himself with the last of his strength, Phineas bursts from the flames and into the crushing quiet and gloom of the street. The icy chill _burns_ like a new fire set alight in his lungs, and his eyes water with the sting of relief.

He coughs violently, struggling to shift the thick smog from his throat. Staggering down the steps onto the cobbles, Phineas tries not to jostle the precious cargo his arms. He’s drawn towards the familiar faces wavering in his vision; dropping to his knees and gently placing the unmoving body on the floor as they crowd around him.

Everything is movement and devastating noise; frightened voices and shrieking, the deafening creak and thunderous crash of the roof caving in. The roar of the fire that won’t leave Phineas’ mind. His throat is raw.

“Help! He needs help, please!” he screams into the crowd, the plea absorbed into the madness. He can’t focus on the people calling his name or echoing his cries for help; the sound of weeping only inflames Phineas’ distress. “ _He needs help!_ ” he desperately tries again.

Why weren’t they coming? _Why wasn’t anyone coming_?

Phineas presses a trembling hand to Phillip’s chest, his once strong and thrumming heartbeat now a mere whisper against the ringmaster’s fingers. Why was no one helping him? Phillip was hurt. Phillip was _hurt_ and no one was coming to save him.

Phineas swallows a sob, almost losing the delicate plea to the chaos.

“.. _in_ , _Phin_ ,”

The clamour suddenly peels away and all that’s left in his world is Phillip. His eyes, the sweetest blue, gaze up at Phineas, and his lips barely part with his strained whisper.

“Phillip, Phillip,” Phineas utters in an earnest mantra. He leans over the man and attempts to wipe a streak of ash from his cheek, but only smears it further. A weak smile twitches Phillip’s lips. His eyes are so warm and tender, and yet they’re edged with pain and a frightening tiredness that makes Phineas shake and long to cry.

Phineas closes his eyes briefly when Phillip, fighting against his own frailty, manages to cup the elder man’s cheek, his hand trembling with the effort. Phineas’ covers the slighter hand with his own, holding it in place and savouring the gentle touch.

Phillip regards him with the sincerest affection, and even dusted with soot and smeared with blood, he’s truly the most stunning man Phineas has ever known.

Phillip exhales a rattling breath, and with it the barest words Phineas can just make out; soft and loving, raw with smoke and pain. A sad, consoling chorus.

  _Now it's time to get away  
To a whole new part I've got to play_

His brow furrows at the familiar tune, the very one he’d used to lure Phillip down into his world of colour and passion. His breath hitches, fear creeping through him like a delicate frost.

 _And you've got what you need_  
_So now I'm gonna take the ride_  
_I'll see you on the other side_

The world around them feels so far away. The help that wasn’t coming. The family who looked on, helpless and heartbroken. The fire blazing at their backs, reducing everything they held dear to ashes.

Phineas shakes his head mutely, not wanting to hear the aching sadness and _acceptance_ in the man’s voice, but he couldn’t let a single laboured syllable be wasted. He took it all in, longed for it, _needed_ it, because it meant Phillip was still here, still with him.  

_So you just do like you do  
And I'll just do like me_

“Phillip, _no_ ,” he rasps, blinking fiercely to clear his eyes, not wanting to lose sight of Phillip for a single moment to the blur of his tears. This wasn’t how it was meant to be, Phillip wasn’t meant to go without him, he wasn’t meant to leave Phineas behind. 

_Don't lock the cage  
Don't forget how to make the key_

Phillip’s voice grows fainter, but he struggles on, dragging air into his broken lungs. Fear rends Phineas' heart as Phillip’s hand starts to slip away from his cheek, too weak to support it any longer. Desperately he holds it in place, leaning in to the tender warmth of his palm and whispering prayers against it.

_Don't cry  
Don't you know this ain't goodbye?_

He doesn’t even realise hot tears are spilling down his cheeks until Phillip’s thumb tries to wipe them away with the faintest caress.

Phillip was fighting his own mortality, devoting his very last breath to Phineas.

_I'll see you on the other side..._

His dulcet voice wavers to nothing, the promise twisting in Phineas’ stomach like a knife. With Phillip’s last aching look brimming with heartfelt adoration, his prayers for just a little longer go unanswered; the light fades from Phillip’s eyes, and he leaves Phineas’ desperate embrace for the final time.

“Phillip,” Phineas had never sounded so broken. “ _Phillip_ ,” he whimpers, holding on to the man’s lifeless hand. Choking back an anguished wail he brings Phillip against him, brushing his hands through the man’s hair and cupping his cheek, pleading for a sign of life he wasn’t to get.

“ _Phillip._ No, no, please, Phillip please don’t go, _please don’t, pleas_ -,” he breaks off into violent sobs, his whole body crumbling with grief.

The troupe can only watch in devastation as their ringmaster _shatters_ , cradling the lifeless body of Phillip Carlyle like he’d never held anything more precious. Many turn away, but others - Lettie, Anne, Charles – surround the men like sentinels, and force themselves to bear witness to a part of Phineas Barnum dying too. They listen in anguish as he tries to call Phillip back to him, begging him not to leave until his voice finally fails him.

For the very first time they realise the true nature of the men’s love for one another; the meaning behind their affectionate touches and fond, lingering looks. But now all they see are the million dreams that lie shattered at their feet.


End file.
